Evening Bliss
by Care.Free.Lines
Summary: Carlisle's compassion is pushing him down a narrow route that only has one final destination. Perplexed on how to help the misunderstood young woman who can evidently read minds, and unwilling to change his decision to do so; Carlisle finds himself in a sticky situation with his job, his family, his mate and his wife.


I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyers does.

After Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Nessie is fully grown.

This is **Caresmé-less**. Although not in the beginning.

Hope you enjoy!

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Sarah's foot tapped rhythmically against the leg of her chair absentmindedly, she sighed for what felt like the thousandth time and tossed the pages of the leaflet in her gripped hands. Although reading about Diabetes was not something that interested her in the slightest, she found it helped dull out the whispers swarming her mind constantly bothering her. The clock continued to tick slowly sardonically, the radiators releasing unwelcomed excessive warmth into the small boxed room and snow splodges evaporated on the outside of the doubled glazed window in defeat. _I hate winter._ Sarah thought irritably, ceasing her foot tapping and shuffling in the chair to shift her practically non-existent weight to get comfortable. Scanning the same paragraph that she'd read over for the sixth time, she inwardly moaned and flung it down onto the desk in front of her. Where the hell was he? Surely it's wrong to leave patients waiting for over 10 minutes! _I hate hospitals_. Sarah slouched and closed her eyes as the whispers became a slur of voices; too loud to be ignored.

_...coffee is terrible here..._

_...this is bloody ridiculous..._

_...two hours..._

_...kids are at home..._

_...could eat a horse, I'm starving... _

Why do people have nothing interesting to think about? Not that Sarah had anything more interesting to think about herself; otherwise she'd be thinking it whilst trying to ignore the whines of other people passing the other side of the door. She briefly wondered what it was like to be normal, a thought that occurred often; especially when she was on the bus and people watching. Sometimes it was nice to be out, sometimes nobody look at her or pointed or whispered, sometimes people who didn't know her would offer a brief smile as they continued their gaze, and even sometimes; just sometimes, she'd be ignored by everyone at the exact same time. Those were precious moments indeed. It wasn't often she went out and arrived home with her pride, feelings and self esteem intact.

Her head snapped to the right, staring at the door condemningly. Her doctor was here. Standing idly outside the door, trying to shake off another nurse as she 'ogled' him and swooned over how 'beautiful' he is. Sarah rolled her eyes passively. The door was pushed open and she held her breath unconsciously in anticipation. Sarah was used to hospitals, she was used to doctors and nurses, and she was used to seeing occasional bed sheets left about, the taste of the food, what different wards smelt like. Sarah was also used to being called delusional, crazy, attention-craving, psychotic, and possessed. She had always wished her life started differently. That she had known better as a child and not told her parents about the voices, about the headaches, about the mind-reading. Maybe then she could have hid herself from society, and maybe then this appointment wouldn't make her so nervous. Sarah was indeed used to all this but it didn't mean she liked it one bit.

For all that was merciful, the nurse outside had been right. He was beautiful. Dr Cullen had pale pure white skin with blond locks and golden eyes. His gentle features lit up as he smiled at her briefly, closing the door and taking a seat behind the desk. Sarah momentarily forgot why she was here and annoyingly who she was, she let her eyes fall to her hands as he closed the door and didn't look up again until he cleared his throat forcefully and looked Sarah over.

_C: She's looks exhausted._

"What can I do for you today?" he asked her, Sarah's mouth ran dry as her palms sweated. She shuffled again and fixated her gaze on his stack of paper work.

"I...haven't been sleeping, so um...I was wondering if I could, um, have something for...that." Sarah mumbled, feeling her confidence leak out in masses under his golden watch. She gazed up swiftly and once again held her breath as she saw he was reading over a file on his desk with her name on. When his eyes darted to hers, she looked away feeling embarrassed. Yes, she really wished her child self had known better.

_C: Figured as much - Sarah Melissa Thorn, Female, 24, long history of mental health and has asthma._

"What's restricting your sleeping?" he asked, she wondered if he expected her to reply with something about voices in her head. It was what most people expected.

"Nightmares."

_C: I wonder if Bella ever looked for medical help when she suffered from night terrors. _

Night terrors were a perfect definition of what she experienced unconsciously. "Are you talking to anybody about these _nightmares_?" She shook her head silently not wanting to elaborate on her councillor history. They did nothing for her. "Would you like someone?" Another head shake, _C: I don't blame her; the councillors at this hospital are lousy;_ Dr Cullen noted this down and turned back to Sarah; basking in concern at the way her pixie-like chin dug into her chest as she looked down at her hands. "When was the last time you had a full night's sleep?"

"Define 'full night'." Sarah sighed; she hadn't slept 12 hours at all in her life; that was for sure.

_C: That rules out 11 or 12 hours. I wonder what an acceptable sleeping pattern is for her circumstances, young people rarely even try to sleep long hours anymore what with computers and gaming consoles. _

"7 plus hours without waking up," he replied, readying his pen to note this down. Sarah smirked knowing he had just made that up on the spot and thought back, trying to remember if there was a time. _C:_ _She looks unsure and possible strained to think. Maybe 7 hours was too much, I doubt teenagers even sleep 7 hours a night on a regular basis._ "Or 6..." Dr Cullen suggested, seeing her hesitation and deep thought written clearly on her face. Sarah was not positive. For the past three years now she hadn't sleep over an hour without waking up, and recently an hour looked like a God sent.

"I can't remember...5 or 6 years ago, maybe." Sarah shrugged. Dr Cullen frowned, _C:_ _she's telling the truth,_ and wrote it down, in the back of his mind he knew he would have doubted the statement if it weren't for the fact he could hear her heartbeat humming away without falter.

"How much do you sleep on an average night?"

"In the past few months, on average probably just over two hours but its never straight through." Sarah explained, feeling venerable having to explain this to someone. She knew he would never understand; just write her off as another mental case.

_C: No wonder she looks so tired. I wonder if I should read up more closely into her medical history. _

"It says here that you were prescribed Melatonin the last time you were here," Dr Cullen spoke carefully, reading over the last few notes on her record. "Do you need a stronger dosage or have you stopped taking them?" He waited as Sarah crossed her legs awkwardly in her chair; hunching over her knees and picking at the hem of her black baggy jumper.

_C: Why is she so nervous? Maybe I should smile more, encourage her to trust me._

Trust you? That's never going to happen – Sarah thought sourly. "I still take two every night, they don't seem to work. I tried three and even four once. If anything they keep me awake more after I wake up but I just feel more tired throughout the day." Dr Cullen nodded, that was understandable. She didn't need sleep endorsements; she needed something to put her to sleep.

_C: I could prescribe her Doxepin but she's still quite young and it's a strong medicine. She might not be able to handle it. _

Sarah really hoped he thought she could handle it. She really wanted something strong.

"Okay, I'm just going to take your height, weight and blood pressure. Just to estimate how much you'd probably need to take." Did this mean he would give her it? Even with a small dosage, Sarah would be happy for anything she could take. Sarah nodded this time, tests she was use to. She stood up and followed the beautifully blond doctor over to the scales and slipped off her shoes as she balanced herself on it, she saw the frown on his face when the red numbers flashed up 47.2. _C:_ _She's dangerously underweight, 104lbs for a 24 year old is not good news at all._ She however pretended not to notice, she stepped down and made her way across to the other side of the room; standing with her back against the wall, Dr Cullen strode over and took note of her height which stood at 168 centimetres. _C:_ _Not only is she underweight for her age but for her height too._

Sarah slumped back into her chair and pulled her jumper off over her head, revealing her to be sitting in a plain black t-shirt that hung on her; she lifted the sleeve and waited patiently. C: _Someone with this low of a BMI should be in hospital being fed._ Dr Cullen made some more notes on his clipboard before attending to her blood pressure; this was the only healthy part of her – he noted. _Thank God she at least has this_. Sarah put her jumper back on and her shoes while Dr Cullen typed notes in on his computer, he then turned to her when she was sitting comfortable. By the firm line of his lips, she knew it wasn't good news.

"You're very underweight, Sarah. Your BMI is 16.8 and if this falls any lower you're in danger of being hospitalised so it would be unwise for me to give you any strong medication until your diet improves," he explained, Sarah frowned sadly. She was beginning to actually think he'd give her sleeping pills; she was foolish to believe any doctor would actually help her. "Is there any reason you haven't been eating?" he asked, pondering slightly over anorexia. C: _If it is anorexia then treatment now would be a great place to start in rehabilitating her back to good health. _

"It's difficult to focus on eating when all I can think about is how tired I am." Sarah shrugged, eating really wasn't a frequent thought; she rarely even felt hungry. Sometimes she'd occasionally snack on plain biscuits just to pass the time but she always felt sick afterwards. Dr Cullen made a few more notes on his computer while Sarah gazed disappointedly out of the window, _this is so unfair_.

"That does have quite the impact on a healthy diet. I can't however give you any stronger form of sleep stimulants, and I strongly advise you to stop taking the Melatonin for now. I'll give you another appointment in a few weeks time and we'll re-evaluate the situation. In the mean time I need you to start eating three meals a day." _C:_ _I wish I could do more for her but under these circumstances; I can't help her sleeping pattern until she's out of the danger zone. _

She continued to frown; she had hoped he'd give her something today. She was at breaking point with her sleepless nights; it made even getting out of bed hard work. Her life at the moment wasn't living. She did nothing but mope around feeling sorry for how horrible her life had turned out. There was no point in coming back; she couldn't turn her eating habits around now. If she ate too much, she'd throw up and then she'd have to eat more to try and put on weight. It was a hopeless case. She'd just have to continue struggling on with the way things were now and hope exhaustion would come upon her so gravely at some point that she just had to sleep.

Dr Cullen wrote a scheduled date for her to come back on down on a pieced of card and handed it to her, Sarah gazed at it reluctantly before taking it and putting it into her coat pocket which rested on the back of her chair. "I'll see you then." He smiled, Sarah wanted to sigh. This entire trip had been for nothing, and she'd been told to stop taking Melatonin. So really, it was worse than nothing. She stood at put her coat on silently, keeping her gaze low so she didn't have to look at the 'encouraging' smile Dr Cullen wanted to give her.

"See you." Sarah muttered, lying of course. She wouldn't see him again, she saw it uneventful and she really didn't want to have to take another three buses to get here and be told to just eat more and sent away. She left the box room, pulling the door shut behind her; leaving a very wary Dr Cullen sitting stiffly behind his desk. He hoped she'd see reason and actually come to her next appointment but her lie about 'seeing him' was very certain. She had no intention of seeing Dr Cullen again, therefore no intention in the slightest about coming back. He flicked through her file perplexedly at all the notes and letters and written documents. She'd spent 4 years in the Mental Health Institute in Pueblo. And prior to that she'd had regular counselling sessions with various teams, she took a lot of different medications and this all dated back to when she was 8 years old. Carlisle was about to close the file, feeling uneasy at not being able to help this girl when a doctor's note caught his eye.

12th September 1998

Medication still not taking effect

Dosage increased to maximum

Sarah is convinced she can read minds

Carlisle's gut felt like it were churning. 'Sarah is convinced she can read minds'. Is she still convinced now? Is that why she is so uneasy around doctors? Granted she's spent a lot of her life being around them but if this 'mental health issue' had truly gone away then surely she would be grateful or a bit more relaxed now that she was cured. Carlisle couldn't keep his mind from running away from itself. Alice could see premonitions before she was a vampire, and Bella had her shield before she was a vampire. Was it possible Sarah really could read minds? Was she meant for his life too?

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Please leave a review, all your feedback is much appreciated and encourages me to keep writing!

Again, I hope you enjoyed this!


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